Glarmoth Facts:

• Happy Glarmoth Day! Sometime in mid February, the mystical glarmoth will descend from his mountain temple down to the forest and bring his blessings to all of the woodland creatures. You never know which forest the glarmoth will choose, but if you are in the right forest at the right time, the glarmoth will often mistake humans for just another primate and extend his blessing onto you.
• The proper response to the greeting, "Happy Glarmoth Day" is, "May your forest be the one."
• The most frequently used conclusion to this greeting-response is, “And yours to you.”
• Glarmoth wings are ultraviolet and their bodies are infrared, thus leading to the misnomer if invisibility. Note that they are NOT technically invisible, they just aren't in the visible spectrum for humans, or even dogs. It is believed that cats can partially see them. If you've ever seen a cat go crazy and appear to attack thin air, it was probably trying to get a glarmoth.
• The average glarmoth has a territory ranging from several hundred square miles to just over a thousand.
• All glarmoths are egg laying males, but the eggs are not fertilized per the norm. The eggs are laid dormant and upon death the "father" glarmoth releases a pheromone which acts as a catalyst for larval development within the eggs.
• When the offspring are born, they immediately begin killing each other until one male is left alive for that territory. With such a large territory and this fierce competition, you can see why the glarmoth is so rare and choosing the right forest is so difficult.
• The term for glarmoth larvae is “glarmies.” - Dr. Bryan Christie.
• The term for a group of glarmoths is a "bundle", but they are rarely found in groups - only when killing each other. As in, "There is a bundle of glarmoths over there killing each other." Also, “There is a bundle of glarmies over there highlandering.”
• Dr. Sherwood Stephens first proposed the conspiracy of the leprechauns covering up the knowledge of glarmoths and Glarmoth Day, which will be presented in detail later.
• The work of Dr. Sherwood Stephens and Dr. Bryan Christie has been invaluable in identifying differences in speciation and regional adaptations. Their research has also lead to a correlation between an individual glarmoth’s size and the size of its territory.
• The largest ever recorded territory was catalogued by Professor Heinrich Von Stubinfoch in South America. The Patagonian Glarmoth had an established territory of just over 1,100 square miles.
• Conversely, the smallest recorded territory is that of the Pygmy Glarmoth at just under 400 square miles.
• The glarmoth's diet consists primarily of unicorn tears, as it has evolved the ability to metabolize the salt. Recent speculation of an enhanced ability to metabolize frog farts has not been verified. -Update- Upon further investigation, the experiments performed by Dr. Erik Finklebaum concerning gaseous toad inhalation have largely been discredited. It seems he was just a nonbeliever being sarcastic.
• Glarmoths will often burrow small holes in logs and trees to use as temporary shelter when traversing their large territory. These homes are referred to as "pads".
• If a glarmoth lays eggs in a pad prior to abandoning it, it becomes known as a "den".
• If a glarmoth uses the same pad over and over again with some frequency, it becomes known as a "lair".
• So the following statement, "Those damn glarmoths bored a lair in my barn and now a bunch of baby glarmoths are killing each other over there." would be corrected by, "A glarmoth bored a den in my barn and now a bundle of glarmies are highlandering over there."
• Unlike glarmoths themselves, glarmoth eggs are neither ultraviolet nor infrared. However they are 107% transparent, so you literally see right through them.
• Although all glarmoths are egg laying males, they are still equipped with a penis. The penis has no reproductive purpose, however the glarmoth often uses its penis to probe small holes and cracks. “It simply likes to stick its dick in things.” according to Professor Von Stubinfoch.
• If you've ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden your ear hole started itching like mad, you may have been probed by a glarmoth. If you are wondering, "Have I been ear-raped by a glarmoth?" No, since the glarmoth doesn't use its penis for reproduction, you were just "ear-probed".
• Glarmoths are usually about the size of a human hand, but just as human hands vary greatly in size, so do glarmoths. Territorial range appears to be related to size as well. For ex, the Pygmy Glarmoth was about the size of a baby’s hand and it also had the smallest known territory. The record breaking Patagonian Glarmoth was about the size of a large NBA player’s hand and appropriately had the largest measured range. That leads to the story of The Day of the Flying Chihuahua, but that's a long story.
• One of the most fascinating parts of a glarmoth is its antennae. They have two, which are the only two things on a glarmoth's body that are within the visible light spectrum. However they are incredibly thin, about the thickness of a human hair (perhaps a bit thicker on the larger glarmoths). Nonetheless, nearly impossible to see without aid.
• The purpose of the glarmoth's antennae is to detect and locate unicorn poop, and they are extremely sensitive and accurate. This obviously assists the glarmoth greatly in locating its food source, unicorn tears. Unfortunately this very trait is what causes conflict with the leprechauns.
• Gold resonates at the exact same frequency as unicorn poop. You may have heard old tales of "Unicorns poop money" or "Unicorns shit gold". Well the truth isn't far from the legend in this case and the glarmoth proves it. Although the unicorn poop isn't technically gold, it is similar enough for glarmoths to detect and locate both.
• Leprechauns have been and always will be extremely paranoid and protective of their gold. The glarmoth's natural ability to find their gold creates direct and indirect threats to leprechauns everywhere. Not that a glarmoth has any interest in a leprechaun's gold, but leprechauns mostly fear humans manipulating this ability if we ever found out. That's why it's so hard to find out information on glarmoths - the leprechauns are always searching, suppressing and downright hiding information. Although this may sound reasonable to some, at the end of the day it's just greed and fear, greed and fear.

Additional Media:

Glarmoth Den (photo by Heinrich Von Stubinfoch c. 1950, Patagonia):

Seven Glarmoths Highlandering (oil on canvas - Lisl Von Stubinfoch c. 1951, Patagonia):